Christmas time is the happy time! ~

Thanks for J’s big beautiful Christmas pack! You know I am a present peeker, so I opened it... Thanks for the Xmas hat, stocking, KISSES, and "a warm hug on a cold day", especially the "Made in China" sweater and scarf… The poor swear and scarf went across twice of the Ocean to get to North China from South. What a journey！It made me laugh over and over… Thanks again for putting my name on Santa's list. This is the first time I have received gift from him. This is the biggest chocolate I have ever got. And this is the warmest Christmas I have ever had. Thanks for everything…

My Mr. Big didn't show up at the end…But I couldn't always dwell on the past, time to move on. 2009 is the Ox's year. It is my year. Although the tradition says the people in their year will under bad luck. But I am still looking for it. Anyway, it can't be worse than now.

Only when you are not afraid of anything, then you will go further.

At last, to whom it may concern, I love you, and I will let you do whatever you think it matters. But someday, someday when we have any chance to talk, tell me why I am always the one who has been left behind… Why the person who said he will never left my in dark, left me in dark; who said I am the person he will never hurt, hurt me the most... Tell me what happened…Tell me how the affection fades off…

Merry Christmas and Wish you all the best!

If I am totally be honest to myself, I think I'd rather die in knowing that I was good at something that I had excelled in some way, than just being a nice and caring relationship.

I always feel the pressure of being a strong and independent woman, but making my whole life revolving around some guy… But loving someone and being loved means so much to me.

I always make fun of this, but isn't everything we do in life is waiting to be loved a little more.

I had worked for this old man and once he told me that, he was spent all his life think about his career and his work. When he was 52, he suddenly realized he hasn't ever given anything of himself. His life is for no one and nothing. He's almost cry when saying that.

You know I believe if there is any kind of God, he couldn't be anyone of us, not you or me, but just this little space in between.

And if there is any kind of magic in this world, it must be the attempt of understand someone, share something.

My 2008 is only about summer. The sunshine, the rain, the flat or rugged roads, the green or brown mountains, the sea, the temples, the luxury or crap hotels, the seven seats Buick, the white or blue uniform, the endless phone calls, the dance, the beers, the shrimp who jump out of the hot pot, the birthday cake on my face, the silence in the mourner for the earthquake and the cheer in opening ceremony of Beijing Olympic Games, the big party, the map with everyone’s best wishes written on it, the bird who named William, the five-in-row game, the rhythm of “Body and Soul”, the smell of black coffee, the bitter 85% cocoa chocolate, the ice creams, the warm soft and loud nights and all the laugh and tears…They consisted of my unique and indelible 2008.

This is the year I finally took out the picture of Roc and me from my wallet, which has stayed there over five years. Finally, I let the past gone and feel released.

This is the hardest year I have ever had, and also the best year. I have got to know a group of amazing people, participated in a great event, and met a great man. Even though I couldn’t have them all the way, at least they made my 2008 shinning than any others’.

“Rush to the dead summer” is one of my favorite book. It told me a story about angels.

“Everyone has an angel who will always watch her.

If your angel felt that your life is too sorrow, your mood is too depressed, she will personate to somebody around you——maybe to be your friend, maybe your lover, maybe your family, or maybe just a passes-by.
Those people appeared in your life quietly, and accompanied with you to share a short period of happy times, then left you quietly.

Because of them, your life has a fortunate memory. Even if the road ahead is full of brier, you can still be brave.

Therefore, those who silently left us actually are the angels that went back to the heaven. Such as those friends who left you, those strangers who helped you and then left, those who loved you then get apart, they all were kind angels.

Maybe for a time you will feel lost for their leaving, will search them all round.
But at last, you have to believe that they are living in somewhere of the world, quietly and contentedly.
Then, those sadness and pain would disappear.

Time is the best pain-taker.”

Summer ended, and winter comes. Angels went back to where they belong, and I survived form the dead summer…

To all my angels, the one I am in love with, my friends, my family, everyone comes and goes and you,

Marry Christmas!

“Life has awful pause and wonderful starts.” an old friend told me so, before I had the long long night of my life pause. I lost most of my friends in the certain time because of the man I deeply in love with; I spent the money I don’t have because I have trusted a man who I should not trust; I lost my faith of love because my beloved turned his back to me in the end…

At that night, the illness took me to Spectre Town. It a very beautiful place, with blue sky, green grass, clear water and fresh air. The birds are singing in the tree; fish are dancing in the river; sheep are enjoying their meal on the grass… I lay down on the grass with my hands under my head. My dearest dog CoCo is playing with a butterfly around me. And then I see my brother walk towards me…

Finally, I meet him. Finally, I get to the place where I belong to -- the place I suppose to stay in. My brother should be the only child in my family, but he left before he really sees the world. He left everything to me…

Anyway, I am so happy that I could end up in Spectre with him. I was imaging his image in all my life. I always want to have him grow up with me. So he would protect me, whenever and wherever; he would hold my hands when I am weak; he would trust me when others don’t; he would put a smile on my face when I cry.. I finally get here and I am extremely happy that I did it! ……

I open my eyes and see the daylight. Nothing changed in my real world. But I am not afraid of anything anymore.

Because I know I will end up in Spectre, warm, soft, peaceful, with my brother and my CoCo.

My first English teacher brought Celine Dion and her music to me in my college time. I think she is a very powerful woman with a touching voice. She has a strong passion towards life and love.

Her first concert in China took place in Beijing in April. As it was the time when the Beijing Olympic Games are approaching and there are a lot political issues against Beijing and the whole China, she has been asked about her opinion about Beiijing Olympic Games during the interview. Her answer is very impressive. She said this game belongs to Beijing and everyone in the world. The game is not for the politicians selling their political view or for the business man selling their products, it is about the young kids, who come from every country of the world, and they are giving their life to achieve their dreams. So let's prey for them; let's cheer for them; let's be proud of them; and let's provide a peaceful and beautiful stage for them... This is Olympic. And I believe Beijing can do it.

It reminds me her song "The Power of Dream". "The power of dream" and "The Power of Love" are two of my favorite songs. These are two very powerful songs. They accompanied with me during my school life. It is love and dream brings me here.

"Your mind will take you far
The rest is just pure heart
You'll find your fate is all your own creation"

"cause I am your lady
and you are my man
whenever you reach for me
I'll do all that I can"